The Ideal Weight

They have decided to put me on a diet. Just yesterday I was served delicious chicken for lunch and dinner. Today, my menu includes dry food mixed with hot water. Why? Because the doctor can’t feel my rib cage. Really? Your life must be truly exciting if you only concern is to feel my rib cage. Do you care to know the true reason for these drastic dieting measures? I overheard that I’m supposed to be taken on some chic vacation, and the airlines only accept canines under 5 kg (11 lbs) on board. Everything over that magic number joins the luggage department in a nameless cage in the bottom deck of the airplane. How would you feel if someone told you that you can only get a seat on the plane if your body size equals to 90-60-90 (36-24-36)?