Return of the Max

Max is probably the coolest Shih Tzu in New Jersey. He appreciates the smell of delicious food, the taste of a good drink and long runs in the park. Max lives a very secretive life – as secretive as it can be in New Jersey. His life motto is “what happens in New Jersey, stays in New Jersey”…. unless he brags about it on Instagram. He keeps his love affairs on the down low and promotes his fetish for shades every chance he gets.

Once upon a time, there was a barkbae in his life. No one knows who she was, some even doubt she ever existed. Anyway, his love for her was deeper than the ocean. But the anonymous barkbae was shadier than Taiga.

When Mac was madly in love with the anonymous #barkbae

Mac Mac loved her so much that he voluntarily took regular baths whenever the two lovebirds met which hardly ever happened.

Maxi in a bath tub with his shades on

One beautiful day Mac Mac wore his fanciest hat and the prettiest bow tie as he planned to make the anonymous barkbae his forever and ever. But the vicious barkbae never showed up. Instead she eloped with his wingman.

Mac waiting for barkbae to arrive

Maxi was devastated for days. He kept re-watching Maleficent over and over again. Just like the dark fairy, he stopped believing in true love.

Love don’t live here anymore…

Maxi was not a bad citizen turning to crime; he was a good citizen driven to despair. He released his frustrations by committing petty crime such as drinking and urinating in public. The NJPD wasn’t having it.

Mac used to be a regular in the NJPD for petty dog crimes

Max knew that he had to change something in his life. That’s when the song ‘Return of the Mack’ by Mark Morrison came on the radio. It was not a coincidence but a divine intervention.

Mac Mac a Rockstar after the divine intervention

Later that day, he ran to a music studio to record the remix to ‘Return of the Mack’ called ‘Return of the Max’.

Mac recording the remix to the song “Return of the Mac” in the studio

The song is currently still in mixing and mastering and will mostly likely stay there for a long time. But I was able to get an exclusive preview of the lyrics and the instrumental version of the remix.

Feel free to sing along if you know the song!

Return of the Max

Oh, oo-o-oh, come on, ooh, yeah
Mac Mac tried to tell you so (yes, he did)
But I guess you didn’t know, as Max’s fluffy story goes
Barkbae tried to steal his glow
And he knew it from the start
When his barkbae broke his heart
That he had to come again, and show her he’s the man

(Are you fly like Max?) All those times she said that I look cool
(Are you fly like Max?) Yes, you try, yes, you try
(Are you fly like Max?) Even though you knew I’d bath for you
(Are you fly like Max?) Yes, I cried, yes, I cried

[Chorus]
(Return of the Max) Here he is
(Return of the Max) Bark on
(Return of the Max) Oh my Dog
(You know that Max is back) Here I am
(Return of the Max) Once again
(Return of the Max) Pump up the world
(Return of the Max) Watch his glow
(You know that Max is back) Here I go

So he’s back up in the game
Wearing shades to keep his swing
Letting all the fluffers know
Max is back to run the show
‘Cause what he did, he knows, was wrong
His NJ rap sheet is so long
So, baby, listen carefully
While he sings his come-back song

(Are you fly like Max?) ‘Cause she said she wanna be with me
(Are you fly like Max?) And you do? And you too?
(Are you fly like Max?) All these treats you said I’d never eat
(Are you fly like Max?) But I do, but I do, do, do

[Chorus]
(Return of the Max) Here I am
(Return of the Max) Bark on
(Return of the Max) Don’t you know
(You know that Max is back) Here I go
(Return of the Max) Oh fluffy girl
(Return of the Max) Wants my pearl
(Return of the Max) Up and down
(You know that Max is back) Sit, stop, run around

(Are you fly like Max?) ‘Cause she said she wanna be with me
(Are you fly like Max?) And you do? And you too?
(Are you fly like Max?) All these treats you said I’d never eat
(Are you fly like Max?) But I do, but I do, do, do
(You know that Max is back) Don’t you know?

[Chorus]

(Return of the Max) Here I am
(Return of the Max) Bark on
(Return of the Max) Don’t you know
(You know that Max is back) Here I go
(Return of the Max) Oh fluffy girl
(Return of the Max) Wants my pearl
(Return of the Max) Up and down
(You know that I’ll be back) Sit, stop, now run around

Watch the original by Mark Morrison

All images @shitzu_max